How to Have a Relaxed Wedding

If there’s one thing that my couples have in common, it’s this – 99% of you tell me that you want to have a relaxed wedding day. “We’re not very formal,” the enquiry emails usually start, “and will just be having a low-key, chilled-out wedding day.” So what exactly does that mean? And how can you pull of a relaxed wedding for yourself?

10 Tips for Having a Relaxed Wedding Day

Sarah and Sam’s winter wedding at one of my favourite relaxed wedding venues in the South East – The Bell in Ticehurst – was the epitome of a relaxed wedding day. From Sarah’s stylish and short wedding dress by Story of my Dress to including their beloved pups in their day, this pair were chilled out and had an absolute blast!

Keep Things Small and Intimate

It doesn’t always run true, but the general rule of thumb is the bigger the wedding, the more stressful the planning can be. The Bell is a compact venue which automatically limits your numbers. Most of the couples that I photograph the weddings of there say that this is one of the reasons they chose it! When you’re limited on space you can find the guilt of not inviting second cousins and work colleagues is taken away from you, thus eliminating the wedding stress. “We’re limited on numbers,” is a great retort should you get any awkward questioning.

Choose One Wedding Venue for the Ceremony and Reception

Again, another plus for The Bell is that the whole wedding can be done under one roof – thus ridding you of the decision-making about transport between venues, logistics for yourself and your guests and giving the whole day a relaxed pace! Better yet, choose a venue with rooms available so people can really let their hair down, book in for the night of the wedding day and enjoy themselves. Include booking information in your invite to ward off questions about accommodation and transport further down the line.

Pick Suppliers Wisely

Picking your A-team for your wedding is undoubtedly one of the hardest parts of the decision-making process – but my top tip for picking suppliers for a relaxed wedding? Choose people that you gel with. If you get on with them and feel comfortable around them, chances are you’re going to feel laid-back about working with them on your celebration. And on that note…

Get Organised

… I get it, you’re so laid back you’re practically horizontal, but getting organised early on in your wedding planning will pay dividends later on. Hopefully one of you is naturally more Type A than the other and will happy to take charge of a spreadsheet for quotes, booking processes and deposits, but if not – there are plenty of templates available to download on Etsy.

Don’t Leave Things to the Last Minute

From picking vendors to doing DIY, one of the most common stressors in wedding planning is leaving things to the last minute. Always give yourself way more time than you think you need. The closer you leave it to your date, the more likely your favourite supplier or vendor might already be booked, so get in touch as soon as you’ve decided with someone to book in with them. Deposits to secure the date are often small so don’t think you need to pay everything up front.

Likewise, if I’ve learned anything in my decade of photographing weddings it’s this – with all the will in the world, even the simplest of DIY projects will take longer than you’ll think! So start early, keep it casual, and although finding somewhere to store 1000 paper cranes for six months might seem like a pain right now, you’ll be kicking yourself if you’re frantically trying to make the last 100 the night before your wedding day. Better yet…

Choose a Quirky and Unique Wedding Venue

I get it, you want to put your own stamp on your wedding day and make it an expression of your combined loves and personalities. That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to see what you come up with. But when you choose a blank canvas, you’re going to need to fill it – and make approximately 39201 extra decisions in the process. Choosing a venue which is packed full of interesting decorations and quirky touches takes away all that added stress and decision-making and makes decorating your wedding a super relaxed process. You can still add personal touches with things like favours, stationery and cake.

Choose a Photographer who has Shot at Your Venue Before

Moving onto how photography can impact whether or not you have a relaxed wedding – I guarantee that choosing a photographer who has photographed a wedding at the venue you’ve chosen before will make your wedding day feel relaxed. They’ll know all the ins and outs of the place, know the area for choosing portraits and often know the staff super well so end up being like an unofficial wedding planner! They’ll already know the best places for portraits if it’s raining, or too hot. You can find photographers who’ve shot at venues before by checking out their recommended supplier lists, and look at who’s work they are featuring across their social media, too.

How to Have Relaxed Wedding Portraits

Choosing a natural, relaxed wedding photographer to capture your wedding day will mean that you’re not being forced to stand in the rain for 20 minutes while your guests are warm and dry mingling inside in order to create the perfect portrait! Ok maybe that’s a little harsh on traditional wedding photographers, but my natural and relaxed wedding photography style means that I can roll with the punches and go with the flow in terms of how you’re feeling and what the weather’s doing. Yes it would be nice to grab 20 minutes with you before the wedding breakfast but even if we only have 5 minutes, I’ll make it work.

Keep Group Shots to a Minimum

Naturally, even the most relaxed of couples generally have the idea that they’ll want formal portraits on their wedding day – when else do you have all your favourite people in one room and the opportunity to have your photograph taken professionally with them?! They’re important pieces of family history and often the images that are brought out year after year as the subjects of the image change. However, wherever possible, keep them to a minimum. My magic number is 8 – I find this allows for all key family members on both sides, taking into account the nuances in different family dynamics, and everyone (couple included!) aren’t bored and over it by the end. The make sure they run smoothly, I’ll ask you for the names of people in each combo beforehand, and for the names of two helpers to help corral guests into position. There’ll still be the opportunity for great shots with friends etc later on in the day.

Let It Go

When all’s said and done, no matter what military planning you put into place your for wedding day – there is definitely something that won’t go as planned. Your DIY project might not get finished in time, maybe your shoes will hurt and you’ll need to put your trust trainers on halfway through the day – but none of it will matter in the moment. In Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, said “Worrying means you suffer twice,” which I think is very pertinent when it comes to wedding planning. There will be so many things that you simply can’t control, so my best advice for having a relaxed wedding day is to let it go, and trust the process that you’ll still have a wonderful time even if things don’t go exactly as planned!